Here’s some fantastic advice on how to help your children grow and develop. We’re convinced this could contribute a lot to forming a great relationship with your kids — and what could be more important than that?
- It’s vitally important for every child to have some free time (about two to four hours a day) which he or she spends doing nothing in particular. Anxious and ambitious parents tend to make their children work and socialise more than they should or need to — youth clubs, sports, languages and what not. It’s critical for ever parent to realise when they might be going to far with this. Kids need time out as much as adults.
- When talking to your kids’ teachers and trying to solve any problems connected with school, parents should always take their children’s side. Don’t be afraid of them getting bad grades — instead, be afraid that your children will start to hate school and studying in general. This should be the major issue you should try to avoid at all costs.
- Unfortunately, parents tend to be focused too much on their child’s academic progress and grades. For example, at parents’ meetings, such questions as ’what grade did they get?’ ’have they been behaving themselves?’ come up far more frequently than things like ’What’s my child’s mood like in class?’ ’Does it seem like he/she is anxious?’. Parents should take care of their children rather than be their bosses who are obsessed with their performance. A child’s feelings, not his or her grades, are the priority.
- Remember, if your children is struggling to do their homework, there is always a reason for it — and it has nothing to do with laziness. The idea of ’laziness’ does not even exist in psychological study. The real reasons are a lack of motivation and will power — and it’s your job to make sense of where that’s coming from.
- Among the more serious reasons why your child struggles to do their homework might be things like increased intracranial pressure, hypertension, psychological problems, or ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) — and plenty of others besides. And despite spending all night beavering away at those math questions, you’d do much better to find out the reason and try to resolve it, rather than doing it for them because you think they’re just lazy.
- Remember this above all: family relationships should always come first. Grades come lower down the list of priorities.
- When they reach their teenage years, your child’s psyche is, needless to say, extremely fragile. Remember preparation for final-year tests and exams? The whole family ends up getting stressed about them on the kid’s behalf. This can lead to plenty of arguments, hysterics and tension. How can you avoid this nightmare, or at least minimize its consequences? The best way is to concentrate on love and the most important, fundamental values.
When all the grades have been given out, and all those exam-induced tears are banished from your memory, only one thing will matter — your trust, understanding and friendship with your children. Do you still have it?
It’s easy enough to get an A-grade out of your daughter, but lose them in the process, to get your son into the best university but ruin the relationship you’ve had with them since they were little. Don’t do it. You can, you must, be a better parent. Sure, you can have ambitions for them, but above all you need to be loving.